diary of a traveler

2010 is beginning in about 6 hours from now and i'm getting emotional saying goodbye forever to 2009. So here i'll attempt to recall the days that have now settled inside my memory cells after passing through a memorable events filter. I lost 27000 Rs. in one day, gained 17000 Rs. in one day, said "yes" to marry a girl and then denied when she also agreed, got back to 10 cigarettes per day before completing my treatment for chest infection, bought a gas cylinder in my own name and started to plan cooking (plans are to be executed in 2010) at my residence, was told to get out of office for denying orders - all these are memorable, some painfully though, in the sense that i can recall them now. And then there are some minor incidences that qualified to pass the memory filter. The usual scolding from dad with an explicit question that whether i'm a man or not, working in the office till 11 pm where most of the staff don't have work during stipulated duty hours, a...

Oh shit ! My heart skipped a bit as the engine stopped suddenly. I was stuck amidst a jungle of cars, bikes and buses for about half an hour. Just one or two hundred meters to go and i'll be out of this mess, i was thinking moments before my scooter's engine went silent. Luckily it was ok, it roared again and the excitement complemented the missed heart bit. Maybe the chilly winds hitting my body iced my mind and i kept driving thoughtlessly to find myself in a heavy traffic jam ! A new experience to write on my blog - i was thinking while heading home after getting out of the jammed road !

September 2009 me: hey gd mrng Rati: hi gm kaise ho? me: ok ok. gf nai mili ab tak :( 3 saal se khule saand ki tarah ghum raha hu lol Rati: love aaj kal lol me: bt thts true for me. i hv been living alone away frm parents for past 3 yrs bt still m single :( Rati: hmm.. mujhe pata hai :( me: to kya karu ? Rati: faadi me: faadi kif fe par :D Rati: kifi bhi ladki fe me: wo to hai, end me kifi bhi fe kar lunga bt try to kare achhi ke liye :P Rati: to karo naaaaaa me: where to start ? i hv no group no acquaintances :D Rati: to banao na ab me: no experience :( raaste pe chalti ladki se kaise baat kare ? office me to sirf budhau hai. aur kahin aana jaana nahi Rati: wo tumhari old gf thi uska kya hua? me: koi nahi thi Rati: aur bola ki baad me detail story bataunga me: okk. wo love story nahi thi, wo office story thi Rati: acha to ? kaha hai wo ab ? she got married kya/ me: :D Rati: tum nahi karte usse chat ? me: ek baar try ki thi Rati: so.. me: maine scrap likha t...

Everything went so smooth until the afternoon. Tea was ready before i had brushed my teeth, my lunch was prepared and served by mom instead of male hotel workers and i had plenty of tv channels to surf in search of charming smiles, bewitching eyes, sensational curves etc. Sounds boring, isn't it ? Exactly the same were my feelings as i had no idea of the thrills and action coming up my way. We had almost reached the bus station and my brother lost control of the bike due to a surprise move of the rickshaw ahead of us. What an anticlimax - crashing down just seconds before landing ! Luckily we were not riding an aeroplane and i got only 3 red bruises which looked like bindis that indian women rarely wear now-a-days. Anyway my immediate target was to get rid of my brother fast as i wanted to have a cigarette after about 18 hours. So i let him go back home without worrying about my injury. Few minutes later, i was on the expressway to ahmedabad with too many conflicting thoughts racin...

27th March, 2008 me: i love u sofi Sofia: gm me: i said i love u Sofia: okies, whats wrong with saying good morning me: good morning :) i was in love with you frm day 1 n kept thinking bout hw to reach italy all the time Sofia: ru kidding? me: jst try to understand my feelings Sofia: me too always doing that me: u wanna cm india for me ? please come soon, i m dying here each day Sofia: now i feel im growing older me: wthout you Sofia: and the songs that i have sung echo in the distance like the sounds of a windmill going round guess i'll always be a soldier of fortune me: for last few months i cant sleep when we dont chat n dont worry i ll b loving u even when u celebrate ur 100the birthday Sofia: that was a song that was going on the radio which i love ru joking with me today me: so today is world theatre day :) Sofia: its not 1st april yet yaar me: tried to do little drama bt dont think worked much :( Sofia: adjust ur calendar no, drama is ok, always works with women esp indian m...

"I love you and it hurts when you are in pain !", i told myself as soon as i got up today and realized that my tonsils have striked again. Its usual actually - to pass the whole day doing crap work or sleeping at home with the knowledge that something just like those tonsils has to be cured first. So went one more wednesday in search of clues to solve the mystery of my actual position in society and get my life on some proper track. And at the end of the day i am stuck with the same verbal puzzles like - office me hu, maja ma saheb?, chai pilao yaar, ghar pe hi ho na?, bolo saheb, zzzzzzz (yawns) etc. I wish there was some printed book to refer to when you can't understand such coded messages.

9th september, 2008 me: hello birth day girl :) hw r u today ? Mallika: heylo :D m happY.. u saY me: i see, having a glass of vodka or :P you looking hot in this one (referred to her new profile image) Mallika: lolz..nah..no vodka..will hv sweets..its dassera too :) happy dassera!! me: to you too Mallika: hot..lolz..thanq :D me: i didnt expect you still i thought to try it, stock market is closed today :) Mallika: hmm.. me: so hw do u celebrate dasheraa ? you knw Mallika: at home..its fun!! me: whts interesting in you, second to your cool nature btw ? Mallika: hmm..hars to ans..dunno wat interets u :P hard* me: i tell u, this t shirt of yours showing u knw what :P dont mind :) Mallika: hmm...ok hai.. me: i bet the rest of the figure too is great, isnt it :P Mallika: :) nw stop it!! me: just one more thing Mallika: aur thik se wish kario phir se :) its ma buhdaYY :D me: you look very tasty,eatable :P didnt like the scrap ????? i customised from face book application for you only Mallika...

About 7 in the evening, 9th September, 2008 me: so m back Mallika: ahha..here comes ma boi ..ur late mr. : me: sorry sorry sorry, i get lazy wthout my bike, i mean scooter here :D Mallika: its k..bt will leave soon me: u said u ll leave at 8 ? Mallika: hmm..k lets c..bolo ji me: kya bolu ok, happy b'day evening again :D Mallika: thankoo thankoo !! :D me: so u knw it :P Mallika: :P me: see i was looking for a call girl today bt didnt wrk out, maybe soon it will ;) Mallika: why ur talkin dis wid me ... me: ok ok i read ur status nd felt like its for me thts wy, do u hav web cam ? Mallika: no i dnt hv webcam me: bad luck, this cafe has it, i cud see u :P Mallika: hmm..tujh pe bura asar pad rha tha mere status msg ka :( so changed it :D me: ok so thts bad, in ur opinion ? Mallika: in my opinion..yea.. me: means i shud nt go for it ? m so lonely here :( Mallika: dunno..dnt ask me :( me: sorry again, didn want to make u angry, my attention is smwht diverted due to maheen :D Mallika: hmm....

I'm back, once again to bore my millions of readers with the news and views of my quitting attempts. Task remains the same except that i am not setting any distant deadline this time making it a mission to finish on daily basis. So i failed totally on the day 1 as i still have to search my lost determination. Its upto tomorrow now! Fourth day of the week, cool mornings mean winter is almost here yet i can't think anything but burn my lungs with the first cigarette of the day after getting out of bed. Welcome back after the break. No, i didn't mean the line spacing, i meant my vacation in between the quitting mission ! I know you all want to hit me out of rage driven by your undying love and affection for me. Lucky to be hit in that case, but i have to worry bout other guys who don't even get a fraction of love due to my monopoly. Its a guilty feeling alright and i feel so embarassed for all those public displays of your affection. So i have the motivation now - to not l...

Bang ! A rickshaw parked on side of the road suddenly came into my view and before i could control its speed, my scooter banged into the back of the rickshaw. Damn it ! Why the hell do i lose my grip over the vehicle at such crucial time ? And it was over in a flash and i was thrown on the road ahead with my scooter lying behind me. Lucky again, i injured just one finger and got up to start my scooter. But sadly its not so tough as i am - headlight completely smashed, front wheel jammed and immobile ! Frustrations took hold of my mind for next few minutes - i had to stop bleeding from my finger, get my scooter repaired to reach office and first of all comfort the hurt rickshaw's driver by giving him money to cure his innocent baby ! And my innocent mind was clueless about the mysterious collision as it had no record of the few seconds in which my heart had robbed its command over my eyes ! Maybe the sunglasses were the culprit for luring my curious heart into the unknown treasure a...

Few days were remaining for six weeks' training to end and lecturers had finally sensed our sentiments allowing frequent breaks in the schedule. On one such afternoon, my bengali colleagues planned a boating trip to the famous marble rock region of the river Narmada. It was full moon day - ideal for boating. They were ready to leave and asked me to join at the last moment and i jumped into the autorickshaw to spend my evening at an unseen before place. One auto rickshaw to accomodate six guys, not much comfortable to sit but the distance wasn't much so the pain was over soon ! Climb down the stairs and here it is, another look of the Narmada, flowing very calmly between marble rocks declaring that the depth is lethal in this part. As usual there was a tea session on the bank and then we hired a boat to feel the thrill of getting up-close with the dangerous river for half an hour ! Even after being informed that the water i am sailing on is about 300 feet deep, i was quite relax...

Damn ! This is the limit, i made this simple poll in a community of social networking site, the poll was meant to point out differences between american and indian living and get general opinion about them but the essential purpose was to create humour. I have lost my mind completely regarding what could be the reason to remove my simple and funny creation !!

There was no planning, at least from my side. Some of my colleagues were going out and as i had no program for the evening, i joined them without inquiring much about their program. The program turned out to be a drinking competition ! I call it competition because i was the beginner, playing first time this game of enjoying lost consciousness, i had to compete with regular drinkers - my punjabi colleagues. I saw them mixing a lot of water to the little amount of whisky, i thought my stomach may not succeed to contain so much water and i'll lose in the drinking competition. They did warn me about dangers of drinking neat but i felt like a warrior standing on the battlefield, a point of no return ! Foul smell and weirdly bitter taste, it was hard for me to take small sips and savour the taste slowly like my partners were practicing in front of me. I grabbed the glass and tried to swallow it all as fast as i could to help my tongue have the least possible memory of the unpleasant tas...

Day 1 Just half an hour to go for the beginning of September 1, 2009 as i am writing this. The confidence level is at an all-time low. My mind is corrupted by temptaion. And i can't resist to have the last puff before the day of kickstarting the mission ! Disaster ! Ok i failed ! I lost my sleep around 6 in the morning and wanted to smoke, just the same intense feeling one gets while being alone in lift with some curvy lady. Somehow i manage to limit it to two (instead of the usual three) before leaving for office. It was easy during office hours with so many diversions available to engage myself in - one more blow averted from landing on my lungs ! The Sun is off duty now and so is my dedication. The lean temptress has already wooed my senses twice and i feel helpless against my evening blues. Rains have taken a break today letting me drive fast to my dinner destination and come back even faster to announce the fiasco of today's mission to the millions of readers of this blog....

Its 8:30 in the morning. I am sucking my finger desperately to stop the bleeding.Its just a small cut on my index finger but a big blow on my conscience reminding me of the dangers of being alone, having not a single relation to call in need. I have no idea what i was hurrying for but i did drive my right hand too fast to wait for consulting my eyes and it bumped into a used blade inside my shaving cabinet injuring my poor index finger. "What the hell, i don't know any method to stop the bleeding", i abused myself. Here was an unexpected panic situation, i had no option but to rush to the nearest medical store for first aid. Luckily its no serious wound except that it has caused me to think seriously about my cutoff-from-society status.

It was a long and boring journey in the state transport bus. The driver tested our patience with plenty of stops giving us a surprize chance to measure our tolerance level and collected extra cash in the process. No need to say that we passed the test painfully and reached Kanha national park with tortured looking faces. Ohh, i just missed to mention two european cheer girls that joined us midway and motivated us to finish the test, ok, they were not cheer girls exactly but good enough to revital us in the tiring heat. Most of us felt lucky that the girls decided to stay in the same hotel as ours but i thought it was our hard work in completing the frustrating journey that paid us blonde inedible fruits. I had already completed one round of daydreaming bout 'em during the bus journey and the second round in Kanha was too hot to handle as they were to spend night within few yards from us. Dreams apart, none of us dared start any conversation with 'em and we proceeded to inqu...

Nothing terrible has occured, no exchange of harsh words with parents or their supporters. My tooth brush was in place, i did get my morning tea with cigarettes and even my bowels got emptied nicely this morning. Then what's wrong with me today? I am feeling restless and irritated since morning with the what-to-do-next-i-have-no-idea look on my face. Somehow the turbulent morning has passed and its the usual lunch break time as i m writing this. No apparent reason i can figure out as the restlessness remains the same after about 4 hours. Possibly i will damage my scooter today but as i have to go out to eat, there's no option except betting some bones of my scooter and mine too. Lunch finished, i am back to my bed calculating losses of day trading. My loneliness is about to hit me at the weakest point as the evening is approaching. And the evening ends without much trouble watching a bollywood flick on married life. Just imagine having a self-made breakfast while your better ha...

Unbelievable ! I couldn't believe my eyes when i saw men carrying pessengers in their pedal rickshaw outside Jabalpur railway station. Night of September 21, 2008 had just begun and i was to begin my official tour cum on job study of Information technology in the heart of India. Honestly, i felt pain in my legs as that lean man carried me in his pedal-rickshaw. Anyway on reaching my hostel, i found myself lost in thoughts about the weeks ahead in an unknown region about a thousand kms. far from my residence. Worries of adjusting with the new routine made me forget that leg pain. Luckily my room partner was sweet and talkative like me and i knew from the day one that peace will prevail in the room. Ok, forget everything, you badly need a good sleep after the 24 hour journey - i told myself ! Its so fresh and chilled out - morning in the outskirts of the small town ! I almost fell in love with the place just for the blissful peace as i realized what i had been going through in past t...

Its special, one more milestone crossed today on the bumpy ride towards the diamond jubilee of india's independence ! Never mind even if the road disappears abruptly and your Sedan goes into tractor mode, be positive and feel the thrill of ploughing ! Now as the journey was never meant to be fruitful, the failed monsoon is no issue here. The issue is i couldn't smell the fresh pages of today's newspaper, missed the aroma of black ink meaningfully spread over it. One more habit that has potential to make me gloom ! Hunger takes over creativity from here and i have to leave my fans, friends and wannabe in-laws with an unsure promise that i will try to give 'em all the details of the diamond jubilee celebration program in a week. See you as a number on my blog's visit counter !

This is an interesting dialogue occured in a social networking site's chat room. The topic here was cracking jokes but then it suddenly came to my present workplace.(or say so-called workplace!) Me : kya haal chal deepak and amit :) Amit : Arre waah.. paresh... Tu ladko se bhi baat kartaa hai.. Good yaar :) Sab badhiyaa hai re.. waise tu kis Organization mein hai ? Me :real life me to ladke hi mile hai baat karne :( Amit : I m fine.. In fact doing Great....Aaj hi subah boss se ladayi huyi.. deadline 1 week ke liye relax ho gayi.. Aur kyaa chahiye life mein... Perish.. Tu mere bache huye aadhe sawaal ka jawaab de.. Me : i think i m working in BSNL, and i like to think that i m working, sadly certain group of people in society doesn't take my work seriously :( Amit : Okk..Ab samajh mein aaya...BSNL ka profit itana down kyoon hua iss Quarter mein Amit : Aaja aaja.. khana khaya ki nahi... Partho : tabhi paresh ka hamesha wrong number me hee number lagtaa hai....... Me : bt meri sa...

As i noticed one or two posts in some blogs about Vespa scooter, this idea popped up in my mind to re-visit on paper all the accidents which should be termed mild collisions actually as i escaped with least injury every time ! I used to travel by bus 2 years back in the beginning of 2007 which was really very interesting as it was my only chance during the day to somehow come in contact with the general public with whom i had no relation of any kind. That was fine only for going office at the decided time every day, so i got this idea of having my vespa scooter from my parents' home. As i am writing about collisions, the most significant ones are with the traffic police obviously ! It seemed to me throughout all these years that i am carrying some kind of indicator on my forehead that makes them recognize the culprit inside me at once. Mostly this happens on holidays as if its mandatory to register with the authorities every day in one way or another, thus i get myself registered i...

Love is life - whenever i read this i wonder what's wrong with me ? It has always been a mystery for me how people fall in love, and even today i haven't made any significant breakthrough towards solving it. I have witnessed many Valentine's days during my college days. I could see girls and boys wandering around the Campus with Pink roses in hands and rosier feelings in their hearts but never was lucky enough to behold the magical moment (as in love stories and romantic movies) of proposing the opposite sex. You would say I was just unlucky but i think there was an international conspiracy to save me from the fool's paradise called Love. Anyway, its the same indian society around me as we are passing through 9th year of 21st century. Its a rainless monsoon evening and i am as lonely as ever at my residence trying to write about my current love interest -SMOKING !! Shocked, aren't you ??!!! (i think i should let the shock feeling sink in for a few days, then i...

Today is the day to show the world how dirty my (rented) house looks these days and the shocking thing is i am pretty ok with all the dirt and papers, polythin bags etc thrown away carelessly in my place ! The most used place here is obviously my bed as i lie there for at least 6 hours of my day in the company of daily newspapers in morning and novels at night. And this is the place where many greatly innovative ( and most of the times rebellious) thoughts keep bombarding on my mind ! the Sitting Room with no sitting arrangement ! Oh even from this angle nothing seems available in the room to rest one's behind on ! Kitchen looks richer than the hall, i've got traditional "matka" to be filled with water obtained from professional water purifying plant ! And the electric heater is not working, its connected just to show its presence and give one a better feel of kitchen ! dont bother about the garbage here, presently i m not cooking anything here !

its the same old sad story, even after so many years of having experienced the fact that change has to come from inside me and nobody' going to bother how i suck all day on a sunday, i still can't make up my mind to move on and forget the past. So here i am, once again surfing aimlessly on the net while hoping that the clock move faster and its Monday again and i can engage in whatever useless (at least for me it is) work given by (so called) seniors and come back home with a relatively smaller task of spending evening alone !

Well, this certainly is a risky subject to talk 'bout openly as it could possibly be misused ! Still being a (so-called) adventurous person, let me just declare my latest addictions. Now latest doesn't mean it all happened overnight ! Plenty of disturbances and a certain period of time is required to hook me onto something, believe me ! i started online share trading bout one and a half year ago in August 2007 with Zero knowledge about stock market. As i need to engage and focus my mind constantly on one thing and the office work was not that thing at all, the experiment turned into habit in just 6 months and after one year and loss of about 100,000 Rupees, i got into the chase of getting back the money i had lost ! Fact is i m not much interested in making money from the beginning, its the unpredictable and occasionaly wild fluctuations in share prices that hooked me ! Never mind the losses, just think of the thrilling time i had in between typing letters or preparing useless ...

in the short history of my blogging adventures, this is undoubtedly the most beautiful post ever, even if i am not able to write anything fresh or special about it !

Frustration is defined in Webster's Dictionary as: “a deep chronic sense or condition of insecurity, discouragement, and dissatisfaction arising from thwarted desires, inner conflicts, or other unresolved problems.” Frustration is spending 30 minutes on the phone with customer service (HA) regarding an issue with your cell phone....and receiving circular talk and NO remedy to the problem! Frustration is talking to customer service (again, HA) of not just one, but 2 companies, and because your call has been transferred to India, having to constantly ask the individual to repeat themselves because you cannot understand them.... especially after finding out your friend's son has lost his job because the contract of the company Cincinnati Bell uses for Zoomtown IT support was not renewed~~ because CB has outsourced to the Philippines.Frustration is.... the poison ivy between my fingers...outsourcing and the growing unemployment rate...the ever changing price of petrol...the cost of...

there's no title to this post as i cudnt think anything except the worst expletives, by the way i dont know much of them which is another reason !! So the issue is that blogger has been blocked in the local network of my office for almost a week now and i m starting to loose sleep bout it. its not that i had many teriffic things to write and i was denied the access to my historical blog !! i cant digest what could be the purpose of such cheap act of stopping someone writing his diary. i never thought so but this incident has surely made my writing very special and in spite of being stolen the freedom to write in office hours i m loving this fame !

Did you notice the date 24 feb 2009 in the picture above ? Dont worry if you didnt, even i did the same thing means focussing on the lady ! Anyway when i first saw it i just started thinking what she must be feeling at the moment. See, she seems in a cheerful mood and writing something, maybe a shopping list for what vegetables to buy for dinner tonight ! OK this may not seem to be a great thing to write about but you have to get real at some point after all.

I have been thinking this for almost 3 years now that I need something new and fabulous in my life. So first of all my thoughts go to a new job, thats all my mind can think of due to the constant reminding by parents while raising me. But then the question arises what if I dont get any improvement in my living with the new workplace or new people ? Not knowing the answer to that I just stop thinking about the job thing ! I know its time to move as I am about to finish 30 years of my life. Obviously, there are many other things and way of improving your living but things don't seem to be changing practically to allow me get out of the constrained state I am in , I keep telling myself that whatever status I am in is just temporary and there's a totally new world waiting for me. The catch is that what if the situations I am facing today in daily life are real and its not going to change for ever ? the picture just a deviation , no need to relate it to the writing above , so it sa...

(Hailey, checking out baby doll newcomer) I think I'm a Dog person , but I'm not sure yet.. Intrigued by the mysterious cat above ?? sitting in the middle of her window, every afternoon, without fail. I don't know for sure that it's every afternoon, but I like to think so. I like to think that this cat has a certain schedule. My expectation of the cat would be fulfilled that way. Cats should have their own (self-imposed) schedules, don't you think so? Dogs shouldn't. Perhaps the cat waits there in anticipation of my arrival, even though it looks quite uninterested and unaffected when I finaly do arrive. But that's cats for you, never lose their cool. With dogs, on the other hand, you know where you stand. (introducing Ditto, the cuddly observer, hiding under the bench)

Excuse me people, i m now so addicted to blog that i have started stealing from others too... Gen 1:1 In the beginning, when God created the universe, Gen 1:2 the earth was formless and desolate. The raging ocean that covered everything was engulfed in total darkness, and the Spirit of God was moving over the water. Gen 1:3 Then God commanded, "Let there be light"---and light appeared. Gen 1:4 God was pleased with what he saw. Then he separated the light from the darkness, Gen 1:5 and he named the light "Day" and the darkness "Night." Evening passed and morning came---that was the first day. This is the first mention of light in the Bible. It's good, and it's separate from darkness. These meanings of the word light are used throughout the Bible, and it set me thinking. I'm supposed to be walking in the light, but I don't act like it. I'm supposed to be visible in the darkness, but I don't feel like it. However, there is... a spark, ...

19 seems odd but cant help i just had to be different ! 1. When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? My earliest memory is wanting to do some revolutionary or secret agent kind of stuff, and after growing up ( say in later teen years ) i wished to be an Astronaut. Its now turning out to be an achievable dream when we see that even women from India have made it to space and into news headlines too. 2. What have you done in the past week to help someone else? Nothing that I can have written proof of but as it is obvious I do certain work in office hours and as it is not helping improve my day in any way, it must have done some good to others at least. 3. Who is the best-dressed person you know? A lot of girls I encounter on my way out of home, just cant do injustice to the remaining by choosing one of them. 4. What is on your nightstand? its on my bed itself as i dont have "nightstand" , things like books to be read, mobile, biscuits . 5. If you were a do...

the first one is to Quit Smoking completely. i was trying to update this blog and also checking out some websites for wallpapers and what i saw is a lot of pictures with men having a cigar in their mouth ! i dont think smoking has changed my life and relations much as i was just as lonely before. there are others like gaining some weight, updating my skills ( dont know in which field by the way !) and above all try to be happy ! its already one and a half month into the year of 2009 and life is exactly the same as was about 2 years ago. i havent started anything new at all, resolutions are on paper only, mostly because people around me have been busy directing my thoughts and energies to their benefit. as always when i sit back and relax to think what i did the whole day that was exclusively in my interest, the answer is NOthing at all, i was just used by people to fulfill their wishes.