diary of a traveler

i always knew i will be able to leave smoking anytime i wish to, but now it seems a little tough given the lack of inspiration as to what purpose and benfit i will be serving by leaving it ! so for the time being lets forget bout NO SMOkINnG and sing........... har fikra ko dhuen me udata chala gaya ........... Smoking Update....................Sunday, July 21,2008. 13:00 hrs IST Now that i realize that its almost one year into this smoke thing, i decided to give a try to leave it ! But as of today, after having many attempts in the past several days, i m almost where i started and the conclusion is that unless i have peace of mind in my daily life, its not going to stop soon. Smoking Update..............Thursday, August 14,2008. 13:15 hrs IST So finally i got it, the long awaited hospitalization ! OK i escaped being admitted but effectively i have been in bed for last 15 days, so it proves that Smoking is not so funny..at least more than 10 cigarrettes per day is certainly beyond my c...

i know i was too late to enter the Online world but anyway i m here thanks to the posting i was given in administrative wing. Being totally introvert for all the years , it was never going to be easy to find net buddies, and so the social networking sites, cant mention its name for copyright issues, proved to be a great help. Although most people connected to me through the network were colleagues or college mates, at least they did lessen the feeling of some attachment to the outside world ! Even as i managed get some strangers to talk to, i could never hope to have a closer relation as all of them were in far away cities or even countries. I wonder about not having net friends in my city since the day one and through all these months. sorry to declare that this post has to be abandoned, maybe temporily, for i cant figure out how to write without mentioning particulars of persons involed ! So the millions of my avid readers will have to wait till i sort my thoughts out !

Evening began with the usual boredom and frustrating thoughts as it has been for the last 10 years or more of my so-called Life. But it was a little different this time as i had something very new, almost rebelious thing to do - tasting Alcohol for the first time ! it could have been very tense but after the smoking got sanction quite easily, it was a cakewalk. i bet if it wasnt the excitement of First time, i will never go 15 kms on scooter in the crowded city of ahmedabad, that too in the peak traffic hours. But its me Paresh, the down to earth guy who mixes up with seniors and juniors alike, who is least interested in alchohol but for the novelty thing. as expected i had nothing to do except dine and drink at a subordinate employee's party and cursing myself to come to such place just out of boredom. thats more than enough for the beginning to describe the evening i took just ONE peg of Rum mixed in thumbs up. as they say i wanted to Taste the Thunder, but got nothing much excep...

so once again, i m into the depressive mood which by the way always keeps threatning to take me over any moment. so the millions of fans of this blog will have to wait till the period of unexplainable grief is over. its the end of day now, and i am getting engaged thinking bout what to do on sunday all alone.

रास्ता बोला, अरे सुन थक जाएगा, बीच मे रुक जाएगा, अभी रुक जा...... मै तो दीवाना, बोला आ जाना, दोनों संगमे चलेंगे... आ भी जा, तू आना रे......

first of all try to get out of the bed as late as possible which seems quite easy for those who have to work hard on the weekdays but not at all for me ! so i kept it in the bed after losing sleep at about 7 am, kept dreaming about having sex with some stranger which i ve never seen or known before ! that was good enough to keep me lying for hours but as we all know the indian summer, the hormone period finished soon and i got out of bed in half hour looking for a Cigarrette. now after having teeth brushed, breakfast and bath, i sit thinking what m i supposted to do today, thanks to the newly adopted " Never Plan Anything " policy. so i end up reading Five Point Someone reading for bout 4 to 5 hours till the evening, it made me go back to memories of my engineering college days although nothing written there was part of my life i had a weird feeling of attachment.

i ve to confess that even after getting a degree in Electronics and Communications, i dont have much affection for the world of communications. i mean i am not much passionate about the technical world of communications ! Epilogue : It is July 29,2009. I have been shuttling back and forth between my residence and office since October 2006 till this evening as i am trying to convert this post into a soul searching exercise ! There's something about Paresh that i have been struggling to comprehend for last few years. This is the age when the latest mobile handset is termed as outdated in just six months and here is a man who thinks and acts the same way as he was doing ten years back ! I just remember a day from year 1997 when i was standing at the window of my home just observing passers-by, especially a sweet looking girl enjoying a walk with her dog. Many calenders have been torn and used as wallpapers in the middle-class homes of india after that incidence and yet i get the same...

so here i m writing at the end of duty hours, thinking bout the evening ahead and at the same time also about the day that passed typing letters, getting 'em faxed, tallying numbers with the Accounts records and the little chats in between with friends without which it seemed like a never ending day ! its been 2 hours that i smoked the last cigarrette ! so i guess its better to go out and hv a cigarrette and tea , apology to millions of readers of this blog ( !!!!!)

मैं जहाँ रहू, मैं कहीं भी रहू, तेरी याद साथ है........