Affair kaise kare ? - advice from a Software Engineer

September 2009

me: hey gd mrng
Rati: hi gm kaise ho?
me: ok ok. gf nai mili ab tak :(
3 saal se khule saand ki tarah ghum raha hu lol
Rati: love aaj kal lol
me: bt thts true for me. i hv been living alone away frm parents for past 3 yrs bt still m single :(
Rati: hmm.. mujhe pata hai :(
me: to kya karu ?
Rati: faadi
me: faadi kif fe par :D
Rati: kifi bhi ladki fe
me: wo to hai, end me kifi bhi fe kar lunga bt try to kare achhi ke liye :P
Rati: to karo naaaaaa
me: where to start ? i hv no group no acquaintances :D
Rati: to banao na ab
me: no experience :(
raaste pe chalti ladki se kaise baat kare ? office me to sirf budhau hai. aur kahin aana jaana nahi
Rati: wo tumhari old gf thi uska kya hua?
me: koi nahi thi
Rati: aur bola ki baad me detail story bataunga
me: okk. wo love story nahi thi, wo office story thi
Rati: acha to ? kaha hai wo ab ? she got married kya/
me: :D
Rati: tum nahi karte usse chat ?
me: ek baar try ki thi
Rati: so..
me: maine scrap likha tha
Rati: k..
me: "sunti ho"
Rati: lol
me: bhadak gayi
Rati: to..
me: lol
Rati: :D obviously
me: fir ek baar bada jhagda hua tha
Rati: .......
me: wo lumbi story hai :P
Rati: batao na
me: kya ?
Rati: story yaar
me: yaar :( nahi kahungi :P
Rati: kahungi ?? :-/
me: oopss PJ chat room me prakruti ki chat chal rahi hai na ;)
dekho jao. interesting :P
Rati: tum hi ho prakruti, tell me the truth plz
me: main apne muh se nahi kahunga bt u r a smart gal :)
Rati: hmm..thank god u accepted :)
me: whn did i accept :P prove frm our chat lol uske kaafi ladke deewane hai
Rati: wo tum hi ho
me: dont break their heart plz ;)
Rati: i cn bet nythng. mai kisiko kuch batane wali nahi hu
me: muaah thts a gud gal :)
Rati: lol par tumne mujhe pehle Q nahi bataya ?
me: bataya tha i think :(
Rati: nahi, tumne sindbad k baare me bataya tha
me: okk anywy un dono ka chhodo mera kya hoga lets come back to reality :)
Rati: hmm
me: tum batao kisi anjaan ladki se kaise dosti kare
Rati: time poocho, ya kuch bhi. aisehi
me: ok kuchh bhi :D
Rati: par agar ladki interested ho to hi
me: fir aage ?
Rati: to aisehi baate karo yaha waha ki
me: ok if she's responding bt if not thn i lose my mind :(
thts a big problem. tumhari story batao to hw did u make bf. starting se
Rati: mera kaha hai bf ? :P
wait a min. batati hu, ruko jara. call aa raha hai
me: time to log mujse poochte rehte hai sale. ladki ne nai puchha aaj tak :(
aur badi prob ye hai ki main almost always fans se ghira rehta hu to conscious bhi ho jaata hu :(
Rati: fans ?
wait call

14 minutes later
me: kitna call karegi ??
Rati: haan bolo
me: kya bolu ? teacher tum ho. aage lesson padhao
Rati: hmm...
me: affair kaise kare :P
Rati: hmmm....
me: ek kaam kare. hum dono ek drama khelte hai
Rati: tum seriously kisi me interested ho??
k...
me: samjo tum anjaan ladki ho
Rati: fine
me: raaste pe khadi ho
Rati: k..
me: i ll try to talk to u
Rati: but ths isnt funny ok
be serious. fine ?
me: meri heartbeat already badh chuki hai :D
Rati: lol
me: ok start
Rati: agar tum dimaag me kuch soch rahe ho to ( ) isme likho ok?
ya 1… 2 … 3…
me: hello ye palika market kidhar hai ?
Rati: start
aage se right
me: wahan spidy ka showroom hai kya ?
Rati: hoga shayad. mujhe theek se nahi pata
me: tum kaun si sandle pehnti ho ?
Rati: khani hai kya?
me: :( cry (bhago)
Rati: aisa koi poochta hai kya?
me: to kya poochu :( pehla sawal ready kar sakte hai, aage kya :D
Rati: hmm.. tum poochte mai yaha pe naya hu. plz aap mujhe waha tak chhod sakti hai kya? (wid a really innocent expression on ur face)
me: innocent :D
great idea
Rati: :D
me: chalte chalte baate bhi ho sakti hai
Rati: haan right, got it?
to shuru, u ask me first
me: aur batao kya puchna chahiye
Rati: umm..tumhare baare me batao..uske bare me mat poochna
me: wht ?
Rati: else she will b sure ur interested
me: uske baareme nai puchho ?
Rati: kuch bhi. mai yaha pe naya hu, bohot probs ho rhi hai
me: r u serious ?
Rati: nahi.. itni jaldi nahi..
yes. wo q batayegi tumhe.. stranger ko..
me: muje fanswa to nahi dogi :P
Rati: to better hai tum tumhare bare me batao pehle
nahi :P
kuch bhi batao.. mai yaha kaam karta hu etc
me: mera plan to uska naam kaam puchhne ka tha :D
Rati: chhoti baate u can ask her. like whr do u wrk ?? engg kiya hai kya? ok... aisa kuch.
dont ask whr do u live, wo baad me. at 2nd or 3rd visit
me: thts wt i meant. naam kaam to puchh sakta hu ?
Rati: haan. naam nai, naam baad me. kaam is k
start karo na
me: achha hua main to garbad kar deta :D
Rati: :D wo batayegi bhi nai, kyu batayegi ?
me: ok get set go
Rati: kisi anjaan aadmi ko apna naam ?
yes. shuru karo.,,
me: hiii
Rati: hii se nahi baba
me: grami kitni hai yaha ?
Rati: matlab kal hum mile the kya ?
this is our 1st visit ok??
me: hello bolu ?
Rati: 1 2 3 start
Nahi. a smile is fine...
me: hello yahan std booth kahan hoga ?
Rati: smile bhi nahi
(ye theek hai) aage se right
(ye bhi :P)
me: aapke paas mobile hai ?
Rati: slappppppppp
me: aaooo.. mummy :(
Rati: kick
me: na bolna tha
Rati: listen
me: slaappp kyu itni si baat pe lol
Rati: dont kid around ok
theek se, we start again
me: arey par mobile se ek minute baat karne ko puchhta tha na main
wts wrong ? mera discharged tha lol
Rati: to age bhi bolte na.."aapke paas mobile hai ? mujhe baat karrni hai ek no. pe" aise
to usi sentence me add karte.. y givin time to thnk
me: haan wo to obvious hai
Rati: nahi hai
me: ( crying)
Rati: agar wo pehle sochti ki ur askin for her no. aur immediately nahi hai bolti to ?
me: (trying to hold on)
Rati: tumhara nxt explanation ka upyog nahi na
me: mere paas hai, aapko kisi ko call karna hai
Rati: oh fine..
Rati: yes i hav cell, urgent call karna hai kya?
me: (lol aisa nai puchhegi anjaan ladki)
(urgent hoga to hi koi raaste pe puchhega na lol)
Rati: (agar mai hoti to poochti)
me: (she'll look with suspicious eyes)
Rati: (hahaha very funny)
me: meri frnd aane wali thi yahan bt i cnat find her
Rati: achcha
me: i hv to knw where's she ? can i call her for a minute ?
Rati: ok. no. bataiye
me: 9*********
Rati: here
me: (i think muje apna mobile switch off karna padega )
Rati: (lol) (mere saamne mat karna)
me: (not responding ya switch off aayega)
ohh no ab kya karu, 2 tickets hai mere paas
Rati: (lol)
me: aap chlaegi movie :)
Rati: (plz stop it) yahi anewali thi na.. ruko thodi der
me: i can’t wait now, showtime to ho gaya hai. ab nai aayegi :(
Rati: to jao akele aur ek ticket black me becho... kamayi ho jayegi
me: lol
Rati: (aage?)
me: black ki kamai se to aapki company achhi rahegi :P
Rati: (lol) x-(
me: main achhe ghar ka ladka hu
Rati: ( u knw.. 1 baar mai ek frnd k liye ruki thi raaste pe to ek aadmi aaya tha.. pooch raha tha will gimme compay ramkrishna hospital tak.. m new here)
me: black ? chiii
Rati: (ohh plz stop it now)
to mai bhi paraye mard k saath movies nahi dekhti chiiii
me: ok thn intro kar lete hai. Main paresh hu, ur name ?
Rati: rati (hum kaha pe hai btw ? bus stop?)
me: ( i dunno, most probably multiplex ke aas paas)
tum kaisi movie pasand karti ho ?
Rati: (aise Qs nahi poochte stupid)
me: :( ( to kya poochu )
wht do u do ? tumhe koi kaam to nahi hai na abhi ?
Rati: ("tumhe koi kaam to nahi hai na abhi ?" ye nahi hota to chalta)
m studying, 2nd yr comp. tum job karte ho kya?
(look we r talkin on a bus stop ok.. whr we see each other daily)
(tht is y we r talkin... else mai bhaav nahi deti aise hi kisi bhi baat karne wale ko)
me: job ? yes u can find me in my office frm 10 to 5 lol
(ye kya baat hai :( main to totally new ladki se mila tha lol)
Rati: (nai.. ladkiya kisi se bhi baate nahi karti hai.. hum dono 1 bus stp pe more thn 2 months tak same time pe aate hai.. by face hum dono ek doosre ko jaante hai.. isliye m talking..ok?)
me: (u killed the fun yaar, bt u r right if roj dekhte hai thn chappal khane ka darr kam hai lol)
(bt tht means ab jitni ne muje dekh rakah hai usi me se choose karna hoga )
(so sad :( )
Rati: (haan right)
me: (maine job ka bataya, ur turn)
Rati: (tumhe ek mail frwd karu kya? love story type hai.. padh lo.. how the guy approaches the gal.. u will get sme tips)
(bataya na maine.. engg kar rahi hu)
me: (lunch time, baad me story badhate hai, vaise itni baat kaafi hai mob no puchhne ko ;P)
Rati: (nahi hai)
me: (ok nahi hogi par dubara mile to baat to karegi na ?)
Rati: (haan karegi.. smile bhi karegi)
me: (thts great, fir to invite bhi kar sakte hai kisi program k liye )
Rati: (nahi)
(not so fast kiddo)
me: (itna fast nai yaar, thode din baad)
Rati: (nahi.. first b good frnz.. uyske baad)
me: (ok bt frnd kaise banege ? baate karenge roj ?)
Rati: (bus stop pe roz milte hai to.. thodi thodi baate)
(matlab baate karte waqt nervousness nahi hona chaiye dono k beech..like frenz)
me: (frm 2nd time nai hogi ye meir guarantee hai mind it)
ok gotta go eat :) see ya
Rati: cya