Bang !
A rickshaw parked on side of the road suddenly came into my view and before i could control its speed, my scooter banged into the back of the rickshaw. Damn it ! Why the hell do i lose my grip over the vehicle at such crucial time ?
And it was over in a flash and i was thrown on the road ahead with my scooter lying behind me. Lucky again, i injured just one finger and got up to start my scooter. But sadly its not so tough as i am - headlight completely smashed, front wheel jammed and immobile ! Frustrations took hold of my mind for next few minutes - i had to stop bleeding from my finger, get my scooter repaired to reach office and first of all comfort the hurt rickshaw's driver by giving him money to cure his innocent baby !
And my innocent mind was clueless about the mysterious collision as it had no record of the few seconds in which my heart had robbed its command over my eyes ! Maybe the sunglasses were the culprit for luring my curious heart into the unknown treasure as i was trying to penetrate them with my eyes to explore the passions hidden behind them. But the fact that i am not the type who can ride two horses at a time and the horse i was already riding was programmed to reach my office before 10 not to cause disturbences in the city due to a break in my routine. Sadly instead of working for that noble cause i tried to invade and break the mystery behind a woman's eyes.
And moments later i did break something, precisely speaking the headlights of my scooter which i had mistaken as a horse to locate any object coming in the way by itself.
So the lesson i learnt is - never try to drive anything else while you are driving your eyes into reading bewitching female faces.
Thursday, 17 September 2009
Monday, 14 September 2009
Homesickness amidst deep waters
Few days were remaining for six weeks' training to end and lecturers had finally sensed our sentiments allowing frequent breaks in the schedule. On one such afternoon, my bengali colleagues planned a boating trip to the famous marble rock region of the river Narmada. It was full moon day - ideal for boating. They were ready to leave and asked me to join at the last moment and i jumped into the autorickshaw to spend my evening at an unseen before place.
One auto rickshaw to accomodate six guys, not much comfortable to sit but the distance wasn't much so the pain was over soon ! Climb down the stairs and here it is, another look of the Narmada, flowing very calmly between marble rocks declaring that the depth is lethal in this part. As usual there was a tea session on the bank and then we hired a boat to feel the thrill of getting up-close with the dangerous river for half an hour !
One auto rickshaw to accomodate six guys, not much comfortable to sit but the distance wasn't much so the pain was over soon ! Climb down the stairs and here it is, another look of the Narmada, flowing very calmly between marble rocks declaring that the depth is lethal in this part. As usual there was a tea session on the bank and then we hired a boat to feel the thrill of getting up-close with the dangerous river for half an hour !
Even after being informed that the water i am sailing on is about 300 feet deep, i was quite relaxed and busy capturing images with the full moon in background. Only other thing to do was to listen commentary of the part-time guide whose main job was to sail the boat. Most part of his speech had stories about films shot at the rocky location.
My mobile camera was not good enough to capture images/video properly but still i managed to capture a video with the boat-driver cum guide's commentary and some images of myself. Half an hour later we were back to the bank and began our shopping of the exclusive local items. After searching and bargaining in many shops, i bought one ash tray made from marble rocks for just 40 Rupees and a pair of ear rings for 30 Rupees.
Buying those ear rings was the sign of my everlasting optimism that i'll find someone very soon to gift them before they lose their cheap quality colour. Actually it was hard to quit the shops' area filled with many bengali girls and women and maybe thats why my colleagues were in no hurry.
Anyway they made up their minds somehow and we proceeded towards our irritated driver. The same rickshaw and the same broken roads but with two different feelings - homesickness and sickness of going back home - we started our return journey.
Wednesday, 9 September 2009
freedom of speech !!
Damn ! This is the limit, i made this simple poll in a community of social networking site, the poll was meant to point out differences between american and indian living and get general opinion about them but the essential purpose was to create humour. I have lost my mind completely regarding what could be the reason to remove my simple and funny creation !!
Saturday, 5 September 2009
Mr. clean prefers it neat !
There was no planning, at least from my side. Some of my colleagues were going out and as i had no program for the evening, i joined them without inquiring much about their program.
The program turned out to be a drinking competition ! I call it competition because i was the beginner, playing first time this game of enjoying lost consciousness, i had to compete with regular drinkers - my punjabi colleagues.
I saw them mixing a lot of water to the little amount of whisky, i thought my stomach may not succeed to contain so much water and i'll lose in the drinking competition. They did warn me about dangers of drinking neat but i felt like a warrior standing on the battlefield, a point of no return ! Foul smell and weirdly bitter taste, it was hard for me to take small sips and savour the taste slowly like my partners were practicing in front of me. I grabbed the glass and tried to swallow it all as fast as i could to help my tongue have the least possible memory of the unpleasant taste. After that first peg, i was completely conscious of what's happening around. Naturally, that boosted my confidence to go for the second peg. Dizziness started to relax my mind now, sure it felt good and i became less aware of the people around which is a big problem usually. With the support of omelettes and roasted peanuts, there goes the third toss making me dizzier plus unsteady on my legs. "What the hell ! It feels so light-headed and yet my bloody mind is focussed on reaching hostel safely instead of taking a break and allow my hidden insanity to come out on stage and play its role !", i cursed myself and decided to move on with the fourth peg.
And the match came to a frustrating end due to rain ! My stomach was the culprit that filled the sink of the restaurant with the downpour of semi-digested omelettes, peanuts and undigested liquor ! Fuck my overworking brain, its denial to leave the field made my poor stomach go on a break ! Anyway i began thinking about the dinner as i had emptied almost everything in the restaurant's wash basin. But it was not over yet as we read the bill and an argument started between us - 4 pegs or 5 pegs ?!! Two of us argued with the waitor that we had only 4 pegs each while the other two thought it was 5 pegs each as shown in the bill ! Waitor's crucial support gave the 5 pegs side an edge, we followed the majority verdict, paid the bill and left with unsteady legs.
Never mind, it was the first attempt anyway, better luck next time !!
The program turned out to be a drinking competition ! I call it competition because i was the beginner, playing first time this game of enjoying lost consciousness, i had to compete with regular drinkers - my punjabi colleagues.
I saw them mixing a lot of water to the little amount of whisky, i thought my stomach may not succeed to contain so much water and i'll lose in the drinking competition. They did warn me about dangers of drinking neat but i felt like a warrior standing on the battlefield, a point of no return ! Foul smell and weirdly bitter taste, it was hard for me to take small sips and savour the taste slowly like my partners were practicing in front of me. I grabbed the glass and tried to swallow it all as fast as i could to help my tongue have the least possible memory of the unpleasant taste. After that first peg, i was completely conscious of what's happening around. Naturally, that boosted my confidence to go for the second peg. Dizziness started to relax my mind now, sure it felt good and i became less aware of the people around which is a big problem usually. With the support of omelettes and roasted peanuts, there goes the third toss making me dizzier plus unsteady on my legs. "What the hell ! It feels so light-headed and yet my bloody mind is focussed on reaching hostel safely instead of taking a break and allow my hidden insanity to come out on stage and play its role !", i cursed myself and decided to move on with the fourth peg.
And the match came to a frustrating end due to rain ! My stomach was the culprit that filled the sink of the restaurant with the downpour of semi-digested omelettes, peanuts and undigested liquor ! Fuck my overworking brain, its denial to leave the field made my poor stomach go on a break ! Anyway i began thinking about the dinner as i had emptied almost everything in the restaurant's wash basin. But it was not over yet as we read the bill and an argument started between us - 4 pegs or 5 pegs ?!! Two of us argued with the waitor that we had only 4 pegs each while the other two thought it was 5 pegs each as shown in the bill ! Waitor's crucial support gave the 5 pegs side an edge, we followed the majority verdict, paid the bill and left with unsteady legs.
Never mind, it was the first attempt anyway, better luck next time !!
Tuesday, 1 September 2009
Quitting Update !
Day 1
Just half an hour to go for the beginning of September 1, 2009 as i am writing this. The confidence level is at an all-time low. My mind is corrupted by temptaion. And i can't resist to have the last puff before the day of kickstarting the mission !
Disaster ! Ok i failed ! I lost my sleep around 6 in the morning and wanted to smoke, just the same intense feeling one gets while being alone in lift with some curvy lady. Somehow i manage to limit it to two (instead of the usual three) before leaving for office.
It was easy during office hours with so many diversions available to engage myself in - one more blow averted from landing on my lungs !
The Sun is off duty now and so is my dedication. The lean temptress has already wooed my senses twice and i feel helpless against my evening blues.
Rains have taken a break today letting me drive fast to my dinner destination and come back even faster to announce the fiasco of today's mission to the millions of readers of this blog. Driving fast doesn't mean you can fly over the speed-brakers, i mean i had to stop to buy three cigarettes in the way !
So, its the end of day 1. moral of the disaster - where there is wills well-settled, there's a long way to get rid of it!
Day 2
Its like watching a particular episode of some reality tv show once again. Now, as this show has me as the only human participant, loneliness makes the attempts to escape from the seductive smoky partner challenging.
Progress of the day 1 has been erased. I am back to my usual quota of cigarettes as my determination seems to have gone on tour to some unknown destination.
Isn't there any better way to control my temper ?
What's the use of punishing my own body to revenge my failure ?
Will i be able to locate my lost determination and persuade it to come back home ?
Where is that one person who can help me fight the battle against the slim temptress ?
Hope has set her eyes on day 3 as i will try to get the answers as soon as possible!
Day 4
Its a shameful chapter of the quitting story - the 3rd day, so better let it be in the missing pages list !
Forget it, its a new day and i am gearing up myself to solve questions raised by my caring and cautious but presently suppressed/illusioned self.
Philosophical thoughts starts to gain control as the day progresses without crossing any milestone towards the target of "Quitting race" between me and the slim stick.
Once again i find myself surrendering to her charm.
Over to tomorrow, my beloved mission.
Day 5,6
For a change, listen to my soul today
"I am so Sorry paresh, but its weekend, and i have begun to feel the 'weekness' ! You already have the trouble to spend thousands of minutes aimlessly, why take the additional pain of rejecting a slim and seductive partner ?"
Day 7
Impossible ! At least it seems so after the 7th day is over without any success in reducing the number of our dates, the actual target - a mature breakup has been conveniently forgotten. Never mind, i still have 3 weeks to search and capture my lost determination. I am positive like never before and ready to divert my attention to some other addictive diva in pursuit of dumping her.
Day 8,9,10
I can't believe this but its happening, there's no sign of the rock hard determination anywhere around. I get up every morning and simply forget about my target and jump into the arms of my foul-smelling lover. I don't believe in God but my subconscious has begun praying for some divine help to get rid of the smoky diva.
Day 11
Its over to the bet now. I was chatting with some girl about my habit and she claimed that i can't quit. So thats it, i immediately placed a bet to quit. Although it didn't work on the first day but i am sure its enough motivation to reinforce my attempts. Next comes weekend and i don't rely much on holidays to begin any new adventure. Let monday come and see the power of betting !
Day 12,13
It was Saturday evening and i experienced the withdrawl symptoms once again in my 2 year long affair with the smoky seductress. The whole day i kept talking to myself and finally got bored. A real-life inspired gangster movie was fit to relax my mind after having been under siege of my own PJs. Trouble started after about one and a half hours as my stomach showed first signs of the so-called withdrawl symptoms and i had to rush home to relax my bowels as soon as the movie was over. Its Tough, just half an hour delay in the hourly date and my body felt terrible. Sure its going to be quite a battle ahead to achieve the break up !
Day 22
I guess i encountered a short-term memory loss last week and so now its like a rain-shortened one-day match where my team has got an almost impossible run chase thanks to Duckworth-Louise ! Clueless is the state of my mind today as i find myself too busy even after not doing any work whole day. I just can't understand what keeps my mind so much engaged that i forget to stop at the grocery shop to buy a tooth paste or soap and recall it only when i need it in the morning. Whatever it be, i m not quitting the idea of kicking the butt.
Day 23
One more frustrating day and worse is that i haven't at all attempted to stay away from the tiny smoke machine till now, its 8:25 in the evening.
Day 24
Almost lost the battle, it has started paining in my chest for past 2 days and i haven't managed to get my thoughts back on track, so there's no question of any action towards the destination.
Day 25,26
Never had i felt so hopeless in the 29 years of my life. It feels like i have lost control over my senses completely. I am sure that i do want to quit but everyday i hear myself saying to my poor soul, "not today, i'll surely quit tomorrow !!"
Day 27
Clock shows eleven, its a hot sunday morning in the supposedly cool period of September. Smoking is a sign of being cool for a few but it has made my actions cold and thoughts aimless.As i have no plans at all about the day ahead, why not have a bet to keep the empty mind engaged ! So its a bet - no smooching till midnight.
Lost it once again!I lost the bet +100 Rupees as fine for parking my scooter on road for a few minutes while smoking after a long unbearable wait of 3 hours. I must salute the local traffic squad for their far-sightedness. The narrow by-lane was almost trafficless when i parked my scooter but it was soon to be jammed due to my celebrity status and that's where enters the devoted watchdogs to ensure smooth movement of people and vehicles before my fans get a chance to create havoc on the deserted sunday afternoon. They didn't even bother about any paperwork after collecting fine, a sure sign that india is moving rapidly towards paperless administration.
Just half an hour to go for the beginning of September 1, 2009 as i am writing this. The confidence level is at an all-time low. My mind is corrupted by temptaion. And i can't resist to have the last puff before the day of kickstarting the mission !
Disaster ! Ok i failed ! I lost my sleep around 6 in the morning and wanted to smoke, just the same intense feeling one gets while being alone in lift with some curvy lady. Somehow i manage to limit it to two (instead of the usual three) before leaving for office.
It was easy during office hours with so many diversions available to engage myself in - one more blow averted from landing on my lungs !
The Sun is off duty now and so is my dedication. The lean temptress has already wooed my senses twice and i feel helpless against my evening blues.
Rains have taken a break today letting me drive fast to my dinner destination and come back even faster to announce the fiasco of today's mission to the millions of readers of this blog. Driving fast doesn't mean you can fly over the speed-brakers, i mean i had to stop to buy three cigarettes in the way !
So, its the end of day 1. moral of the disaster - where there is wills well-settled, there's a long way to get rid of it!
Day 2
Its like watching a particular episode of some reality tv show once again. Now, as this show has me as the only human participant, loneliness makes the attempts to escape from the seductive smoky partner challenging.
Progress of the day 1 has been erased. I am back to my usual quota of cigarettes as my determination seems to have gone on tour to some unknown destination.
Isn't there any better way to control my temper ?
What's the use of punishing my own body to revenge my failure ?
Will i be able to locate my lost determination and persuade it to come back home ?
Where is that one person who can help me fight the battle against the slim temptress ?
Hope has set her eyes on day 3 as i will try to get the answers as soon as possible!
Day 4
Its a shameful chapter of the quitting story - the 3rd day, so better let it be in the missing pages list !
Forget it, its a new day and i am gearing up myself to solve questions raised by my caring and cautious but presently suppressed/illusioned self.
Philosophical thoughts starts to gain control as the day progresses without crossing any milestone towards the target of "Quitting race" between me and the slim stick.
Once again i find myself surrendering to her charm.
Over to tomorrow, my beloved mission.
Day 5,6
For a change, listen to my soul today
"I am so Sorry paresh, but its weekend, and i have begun to feel the 'weekness' ! You already have the trouble to spend thousands of minutes aimlessly, why take the additional pain of rejecting a slim and seductive partner ?"
Day 7
Impossible ! At least it seems so after the 7th day is over without any success in reducing the number of our dates, the actual target - a mature breakup has been conveniently forgotten. Never mind, i still have 3 weeks to search and capture my lost determination. I am positive like never before and ready to divert my attention to some other addictive diva in pursuit of dumping her.
Day 8,9,10
I can't believe this but its happening, there's no sign of the rock hard determination anywhere around. I get up every morning and simply forget about my target and jump into the arms of my foul-smelling lover. I don't believe in God but my subconscious has begun praying for some divine help to get rid of the smoky diva.
Day 11
Its over to the bet now. I was chatting with some girl about my habit and she claimed that i can't quit. So thats it, i immediately placed a bet to quit. Although it didn't work on the first day but i am sure its enough motivation to reinforce my attempts. Next comes weekend and i don't rely much on holidays to begin any new adventure. Let monday come and see the power of betting !
Day 12,13
It was Saturday evening and i experienced the withdrawl symptoms once again in my 2 year long affair with the smoky seductress. The whole day i kept talking to myself and finally got bored. A real-life inspired gangster movie was fit to relax my mind after having been under siege of my own PJs. Trouble started after about one and a half hours as my stomach showed first signs of the so-called withdrawl symptoms and i had to rush home to relax my bowels as soon as the movie was over. Its Tough, just half an hour delay in the hourly date and my body felt terrible. Sure its going to be quite a battle ahead to achieve the break up !
Day 22
I guess i encountered a short-term memory loss last week and so now its like a rain-shortened one-day match where my team has got an almost impossible run chase thanks to Duckworth-Louise ! Clueless is the state of my mind today as i find myself too busy even after not doing any work whole day. I just can't understand what keeps my mind so much engaged that i forget to stop at the grocery shop to buy a tooth paste or soap and recall it only when i need it in the morning. Whatever it be, i m not quitting the idea of kicking the butt.
Day 23
One more frustrating day and worse is that i haven't at all attempted to stay away from the tiny smoke machine till now, its 8:25 in the evening.
Day 24
Almost lost the battle, it has started paining in my chest for past 2 days and i haven't managed to get my thoughts back on track, so there's no question of any action towards the destination.
Day 25,26
Never had i felt so hopeless in the 29 years of my life. It feels like i have lost control over my senses completely. I am sure that i do want to quit but everyday i hear myself saying to my poor soul, "not today, i'll surely quit tomorrow !!"
Day 27
Clock shows eleven, its a hot sunday morning in the supposedly cool period of September. Smoking is a sign of being cool for a few but it has made my actions cold and thoughts aimless.As i have no plans at all about the day ahead, why not have a bet to keep the empty mind engaged ! So its a bet - no smooching till midnight.
Lost it once again!I lost the bet +100 Rupees as fine for parking my scooter on road for a few minutes while smoking after a long unbearable wait of 3 hours. I must salute the local traffic squad for their far-sightedness. The narrow by-lane was almost trafficless when i parked my scooter but it was soon to be jammed due to my celebrity status and that's where enters the devoted watchdogs to ensure smooth movement of people and vehicles before my fans get a chance to create havoc on the deserted sunday afternoon. They didn't even bother about any paperwork after collecting fine, a sure sign that india is moving rapidly towards paperless administration.
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