Quitting Update !

Day 1

Just half an hour to go for the beginning of September 1, 2009 as i am writing this. The confidence level is at an all-time low. My mind is corrupted by temptaion. And i can't resist to have the last puff before the day of kickstarting the mission !

Disaster ! Ok i failed ! I lost my sleep around 6 in the morning and wanted to smoke, just the same intense feeling one gets while being alone in lift with some curvy lady. Somehow i manage to limit it to two (instead of the usual three) before leaving for office.

It was easy during office hours with so many diversions available to engage myself in - one more blow averted from landing on my lungs !

The Sun is off duty now and so is my dedication. The lean temptress has already wooed my senses twice and i feel helpless against my evening blues.

Rains have taken a break today letting me drive fast to my dinner destination and come back even faster to announce the fiasco of today's mission to the millions of readers of this blog. Driving fast doesn't mean you can fly over the speed-brakers, i mean i had to stop to buy three cigarettes in the way !

So, its the end of day 1. moral of the disaster - where there is wills well-settled, there's a long way to get rid of it!


Day 2

Its like watching a particular episode of some reality tv show once again. Now, as this show has me as the only human participant, loneliness makes the attempts to escape from the seductive smoky partner challenging.

Progress of the day 1 has been erased. I am back to my usual quota of cigarettes as my determination seems to have gone on tour to some unknown destination.

Isn't there any better way to control my temper ?
What's the use of punishing my own body to revenge my failure ?
Will i be able to locate my lost determination and persuade it to come back home ?
Where is that one person who can help me fight the battle against the slim temptress ?

Hope has set her eyes on day 3 as i will try to get the answers as soon as possible!

Day 4

Its a shameful chapter of the quitting story - the 3rd day, so better let it be in the missing pages list !

Forget it, its a new day and i am gearing up myself to solve questions raised by my caring and cautious but presently suppressed/illusioned self.
Philosophical thoughts starts to gain control as the day progresses without crossing any milestone towards the target of "Quitting race" between me and the slim stick.

Once again i find myself surrendering to her charm.
Over to tomorrow, my beloved mission.

Day 5,6


For a change, listen to my soul today
"I am so Sorry paresh, but its weekend, and i have begun to feel the 'weekness' ! You already have the trouble to spend thousands of minutes aimlessly, why take the additional pain of rejecting a slim and seductive partner ?"

Day 7

Impossible ! At least it seems so after the 7th day is over without any success in reducing the number of our dates, the actual target - a mature breakup has been conveniently forgotten. Never mind, i still have 3 weeks to search and capture my lost determination. I am positive like never before and ready to divert my attention to some other addictive diva in pursuit of dumping her.

Day 8,9,10

I can't believe this but its happening, there's no sign of the rock hard determination anywhere around. I get up every morning and simply forget about my target and jump into the arms of my foul-smelling lover. I don't believe in God but my subconscious has begun praying for some divine help to get rid of the smoky diva.

Day 11

Its over to the bet now. I was chatting with some girl about my habit and she claimed that i can't quit. So thats it, i immediately placed a bet to quit. Although it didn't work on the first day but i am sure its enough motivation to reinforce my attempts. Next comes weekend and i don't rely much on holidays to begin any new adventure. Let monday come and see the power of betting !

Day 12,13

It was Saturday evening and i experienced the withdrawl symptoms once again in my 2 year long affair with the smoky seductress. The whole day i kept talking to myself and finally got bored. A real-life inspired gangster movie was fit to relax my mind after having been under siege of my own PJs. Trouble started after about one and a half hours as my stomach showed first signs of the so-called withdrawl symptoms and i had to rush home to relax my bowels as soon as the movie was over. Its Tough, just half an hour delay in the hourly date and my body felt terrible. Sure its going to be quite a battle ahead to achieve the break up !

Day 22

I guess i encountered a short-term memory loss last week and so now its like a rain-shortened one-day match where my team has got an almost impossible run chase thanks to Duckworth-Louise ! Clueless is the state of my mind today as i find myself too busy even after not doing any work whole day. I just can't understand what keeps my mind so much engaged that i forget to stop at the grocery shop to buy a tooth paste or soap and recall it only when i need it in the morning. Whatever it be, i m not quitting the idea of kicking the butt.

Day 23

One more frustrating day and worse is that i haven't at all attempted to stay away from the tiny smoke machine till now, its 8:25 in the evening.

Day 24

Almost lost the battle, it has started paining in my chest for past 2 days and i haven't managed to get my thoughts back on track, so there's no question of any action towards the destination.

Day 25,26

Never had i felt so hopeless in the 29 years of my life. It feels like i have lost control over my senses completely. I am sure that i do want to quit but everyday i hear myself saying to my poor soul, "not today, i'll surely quit tomorrow !!"

Day 27

Clock shows eleven, its a hot sunday morning in the supposedly cool period of September. Smoking is a sign of being cool for a few but it has made my actions cold and thoughts aimless.As i have no plans at all about the day ahead, why not have a bet to keep the empty mind engaged ! So its a bet - no smooching till midnight.
Lost it once again!I lost the bet +100 Rupees as fine for parking my scooter on road for a few minutes while smoking after a long unbearable wait of 3 hours. I must salute the local traffic squad for their far-sightedness. The narrow by-lane was almost trafficless when i parked my scooter but it was soon to be jammed due to my celebrity status and that's where enters the devoted watchdogs to ensure smooth movement of people and vehicles before my fans get a chance to create havoc on the deserted sunday afternoon. They didn't even bother about any paperwork after collecting fine, a sure sign that india is moving rapidly towards paperless administration.